TC Light #1

You cannot divorce your partner until you have been married to them for at least 7 days.
TC Light #1
Issue No.1 of the TC Light Newspaper 12/11/07 
TC CRIME ON THE RISE…AGAIN! Mayor Chedburn says “everything is fine” The town is in turmoil as a new shock report comes out stating that crime in Torn city is on the rise again. Now normally we wouldn’t make a fuss over this as crime is a normal part of everyday life and most criminals don’t make it past small time theft. But a ground breaking report has suggested the increase in more organised crimes. Mass drug smuggling and major hostage situations amongst other things are on the rise. And what are the police, FBI and the mayor doing about this? Here’s the simple answer nothing. Yesterday I caught up with police chief is0lati0n. Here is what he had to say on the whole matter: “The rising crime rate is a pressing concern but what can we do about it? Its up to the feds to sort this one out.” Personally I find that statement quite disturbing as this clearly shows the complete laziness of the police and the city council as they quite evidently don’t wish to sort this one out themselves and wish to let the FBI do all the crime fighting. Also yesterday I managed to get to speak to mayor Chedburn and tell him what the chief of police said before asking him what he thought of the whole thing. He said: “The police chief had no right to say that and as for this report there is no solid evidence to back it up so I rule it null and void everything is fine in Torn city no matter what some report says.” Clearly the mayor has no intention of trying to sort this whole thing out. Personally I think a town meeting should be called to discuss the crime problem but everyone knows that won’t happen. Mayor Chedburn seems to be more concerned about repairs to his own home than anything else at the moment. Now in a normal case, if the city crime rate wasn’t so high and the police weren’t so lazy then this wouldn’t be an issue. After all, Bill Clinton was seen near his garden in much of his spare time. But clearly no one in the city’s government believes in this new study, and thus has stayed, so far, well clear of it. TC Light can only find this an outrage and something has to be done now. Article by luca-brasi[478243]
RAEWYN INTERVIEWED! We at TC Light try to leave no stone unturned, and in our noble quest, we kidnapped Raewyn [174440], staffer, from a top secret location in Torn City, strapped her to a chair, and shone a large lamp in her face: Demonator: Raewyn, How long have you been playing Torn city? Raewyn: Around 760 days now Demonator: And how long have you been staff? Raewyn: Hmm … since May this year … so around 6 months now Demonator: Ok. Have you ever donated with your own money? Or do you just buy your DP’s with TC Cash? Raewyn: I’m fairly poor on TC lol. I do tend to donate with my own money on occasion. Unless of course I have the TC money laying around to spend. Demonator: At any point over your 760 days on TC have you thought, “Why do I log in and donate to an online game?” Raewyn: I’m not going to lie and say never lol. It happens occasionally. But obviously I keep coming back. Or I wouldn’t be here getting interviewed. Demonator: Very true. Any reason why you keep coming back? Raewyn: Well … I have too much spare time on my hands is probably the main reason. But I also have a lot of good friends on here that keeps me playing. The game itself is always changing and developing … it manages to keep me interested. Demonator: Rumor has it that Chedburn has secretly being coding a Mind Control Device and has already used it on most of the current TC Players! Being staff can you tell me, Is there any truth to this? Raewyn: If I told you, I would have to kill you Face 01 2279069 Demonator: I take that as a yes then At this point, Raewyn looks ready to kill. I begin to sweat before hurriedly adding, “But let’s not find out.” Raewyn: Yes well … you can. Though I will need to note this to Che… I mean … Ahem … Yes. Carry on. Demonator: This brings me to my final question… Why do you personally think, that people continue to log on/donate to an online game? Raewyn: Because it is addictive and we don’t have anything better to do. Well… I think a lot of people would say the same as me … Everyone has pretty close groups of friends around here. I wouldn’t say we are all friends, as that would be bull. But you get the idea. The ability to interact, make friends and of course enemies is a big part of TC. Once you make friends you are not likely to leave in a hurry. Demonator: Thanks a lot Raewyn for having this interview. Raewyn: No Problem Face 01 2279069 Demonator: I hope to speak to you soon … Now please, don’t kill me. Raewyn: I’ll try not to … But don’t worry if you get some headaches/dizzyness in the next few hours. The uh … water is funny Demonator: Duly noted, anyway I’m off to find food Raewyn: Lol alright Reported by: Demonator [391050]
SCHOOLS NEEDED! Illiteracy levels, innumeracy and the inability to sing ‘100 green bottles on the wall’ correctly, all point to a service much needed by Torn; schools. Walking through the main streets of the city, whether it be the shopping district, where many a shopkeeper is having difficulty handing back change, with their tills exhibiting stickers entitled ‘NO CHANGE GIVEN’, or the stock market, where one minute a company is worth millions, the next bankruptcy; simply because stockbrokers are unable to decide the right value of shares. I therefore have to ask myself, whether TC should have a forced education for those beneath 100 days. High school after all would teach numaracy and literacy, for a very small fee, and if the individual wishes to continue in education, after 100 days, they can take out college style courses that are already offered. By enacting such a policy, Mayor Chedburn would be promoting a generation of Einsteins and Shakespeares throughout our city and its suburbs. Instead of listening to our famed radio, you could be hopping down to the theatre every night to catch a play, or listen to the latest ‘signed’ poet. Torn could become the epicentre of a ‘Golden Age’. And consider what would happen to our economy. With employees of our native corporations and retail outlets being able to do their sums, we can get change. No longer will people stick to plastic cards, but some might actually have a wad of notes on them instead. We may even have to invent a Torn City coin, if we do get such enthusiasts. Our stock market too would become more stabilised, allowing companies to predict short falls, and the early signs of profit, encouraging fiscal thinking throughout Torn’s Chamber of Commerce. The price of schooling may at first be expensive, but the long term benefits certainly do out weigh the short term loss of income. No longer will parents be losing their children, because they can’t remember how many the gave birth too. Tourists may actually be able to find their way around our city when they ask for directions. Instead of them ending up in bra hire shop, they’ll find the car hire shop they originally asked for. If a city wide dialect was adopted, which this reporter believes should be Victorian English, then all these problems would be solved. This paper therefore urges you, noble reader, to arise a petition. Paint your face green. March to the Mayoral offices with pitchfork in hand singing ‘He’ll be coming round the mountain’ and demand Mayor Chedburn, for compulsory education, which should be, on the most part, free to our fair city. Reported by: Jordanmanuk [13098]
SUCICIDAL NEWB! Well wondering around our fair City I stumbled into the General Discussions forum and found a newb claming he managed to go 32 rounds with the king. Just then the king step in and claimed that is true! So who is this bold newbie with less than 1k total stats that took on the camp with 7 million and up total stats? Well his name is FAKE-K_A [525498] and he loves to see how many rounds he can make before getting K.O’ed. I felt I just had to find out why was he suicidal, so I interviewed him… Zalpha: Wow your profile is very cool! FAKE-K_A: Thanks, that’s the major goal. Zalpha: Okay the questions. Firstly why attack K_A when you know you will lose? FAKE-K_A: Boredom, lack of a good house to train in, lack of caring for being great. Zalpha: Do they pay you or ask to be attacked? FAKE-K_A: Nope, they just seemed to like me afterward, so they send random stuff for the hell of it, humoring me, or so I think. Zalpha: Why are you called Fake-K_A? (Just now you’re called LOL-K_A) FAKE-K_A: I am now called FAKE-KA, and that’s the name I’m sticking with, It’s because one night I made my name K__A (2 underscores) and mailed his wife, messed around and bit, decided being fake King was fun…so I stuck with it. Zalpha: Do you want to be the best, and better than K_A? FAKE-K_A: I think everyone aims to be better (level wise) but IMO Emu is already vastly more powerful. Zalpha: Will you attack anyone? FAKE-K_A: I’m sticking to higher levels, no point in attacking someone else; I like the high level crowd, respectful about it, and realize it’s all in fun. Zalpha: If someone asked you to attack them, would you? FAKE-K_A: I’d let them believe I did it for that reason, if I’m sent a users ID, and they fit my standards of stupidity, why the hell not…fair game. Zalpha: Can you tell me anything else about yourself? FAKE-K_A: Well, what would you like to know? I’m just some guy living in Florida with nothing to do. I really want to be popular in the TC community, and this seemed to be the most fun way to go about gaining my fame. Better then being a Dirty-Rockstar. Zalpha: Anything else you want to have said in the article? FAKE-K_A: First issue, HELL YES! Also, thanks to all who I attack for taking it in stride, it’s not easy letting a noob gallivant around the forums saying that you missed them 10+ times. Well there you have the, what and why he does what he does. This however brings into question how does that happen? As was why FAKE-K_A was posting and he asked “How does a (level) 63 with 1k+ days miss that many times on a level 3 with under 400 dexterity….” Now that is a good question. Kharma [156342] got FAKE-K_A [525498] to try and see how many rounds he could get off him as he has far lower stats then k_A [1070] and came back with this: “Took him 12 hits he said. This does prove the battle system is, once again, a joke.” Kharma [156342] then went on to say, “Again…. battle system favors the attacker. It is a horribly, horribly, horribly done system that is a true failure. Needs to be revamped correctly.” As Chedburn [1] said with regards to the attacking system, “Just to warn you 3-6 months in advance. There will be changes made to the battle system. We do not know what yet exactly but there will be changes to make it more realistic. These changes will not prefer mixed stats; we encourage uneven stats as they create diversity. They will change how stats work slightly, but shouldn’t make too much of an impact on whether you defeat your enemies or not. This change in a few months may even see the removal of the need to buy ammo.” This is just a warning, though it doesn’t mean anything concrete. Reported by: Zalpha [442776]
Comments (1)
written by nKSharp, December 14, 2007
I just tried to search for Fake-K_A but none were found so I used the id and it is now labeled as a multi and marked for deletion. I found this kind of funny.
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